Teen motivation to work for a goal seems to be a parent's responsibility now and I'm stumped. With everything at their fingertips there is still a great disconnect from what they want and how they expect to get it. Earning it and true independence doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary.. or maybe it's just my sons.
After the all the behavioural battles with my oldest son to graduate high school I wanted to be stronger for youngest. He is different but neither one wants to do the work to get good grades and earn all the rewards that go with it. They want cash, vacations, clothes and especially a car without any effort on their side. Their desires for independence is to have the best social life possible right now with no regard for their future... and I'm only talking of their next year of high school. This me me me, right now, immediate gratification attitude forces me to constantly impose choices and consequences instead of them just doing the right thing. They can't see that they could get anything they want if they just did it the right way. It's so difficult to not compare to myself at their age. I wanted out of my parents house but I knew I had to do it on my own. Get a job, buy a car, get accepted to the school I wanted and even find a way to pay for college which I did. My guys want to stay at home but be able to do anything they want with no consequences. Today my son proudly text's me his school ID and schedule to show me he has registered for his sophomore year of high school
When you move out with a police escort (see previous posts) I guess you forget a few things.
K: Mom, send could you send me my SSN card and my passport? Me : Sure, but your drivers license was on your desk with your passport id card, did you drive all the way to Colorado with no license? K: No, I have a copy of it... Me: Really?
Hey boys,
I'm not a spa that can handle 30+ minute showers. I see you in there falling asleep standing up or laying in the tub letting the shower wash over you. Don't you see walls dripping when you're done with the shower? I am not a steam room or a sauna... don't you see the black mold appearing on my ceiling?
As a parent I believe you have to forgive and forget kids’ mistakes. Especially as they grow and change as teenagers. Don't get me wrong, there must be an appropriate consequence but I try my hardest to move on and give them another chance. But this event shook me up and I have to admit, I am struggling to keep my sense of humor.
It started last night when I asked my 19-year-old to please be home at 9am (don't take off to surf all day) and hang out for an hour. I needed him to wait for the installation guy, who gave me a window of 9-1pm, because no one else over 18 was available. He agreed; “no problem, Mom”. I said, I trust you to stick to this plan, I've been waiting for this guy for 3 weeks and we don't want to miss him. I let him know I had job interview and I'll be back at 10:00am. I know it sounds like silly details but these were the facts that became an explosive argument. |
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March 2017
AuthorMaxine Manz |