Teen motivation to work for a goal seems to be a parent's responsibility now and I'm stumped. With everything at their fingertips there is still a great disconnect from what they want and how they expect to get it. Earning it and true independence doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary.. or maybe it's just my sons.
After the all the behavioural battles with my oldest son to graduate high school I wanted to be stronger for youngest. He is different but neither one wants to do the work to get good grades and earn all the rewards that go with it. They want cash, vacations, clothes and especially a car without any effort on their side. Their desires for independence is to have the best social life possible right now with no regard for their future... and I'm only talking of their next year of high school. This me me me, right now, immediate gratification attitude forces me to constantly impose choices and consequences instead of them just doing the right thing. They can't see that they could get anything they want if they just did it the right way. It's so difficult to not compare to myself at their age. I wanted out of my parents house but I knew I had to do it on my own. Get a job, buy a car, get accepted to the school I wanted and even find a way to pay for college which I did. My guys want to stay at home but be able to do anything they want with no consequences. Today my son proudly text's me his school ID and schedule to show me he has registered for his sophomore year of high school
,all by himself. Great but I'm out $200 dollars for HS registration for public school :-( Then I see his schedule and it includes Surf Team. Well that is a problem. We had a deal, he needs a 3.0 his freshman year to stay on the team... I even relaxed it to a 3.0 for just the second semester but he was unable to meet either goal. We talked about this a lot so I text'd, you need to change surf team to something else...
"No, I won't do anything else." is the response I get... He comes home later and I ask, why didn't you change surf team? you knew the deal... "Because I wanted it." well that's not an attitude that will win any points with me. He says it's my team sport how can you take it away... I didn't take it away, you didn't earn it. You can be on surf team next year if you have a 3.0 B average. "Then I don't want to do Track either" ok they you need to get a job if you are not in a sport... His response it to walk out the front door.... He doesn't know yet that I have locked up his new surfboards in my room. ---- |
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March 2017
AuthorMaxine Manz |